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Alex SoteriadesEdit

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Alex on a good day

Alex Soteriades is a two time BAFTA and three time Oscar winner for his single film Mr. Potato Head Does Dallas which premiered to great acclaim at the Arizona Dim-Wits Festival in 1924. He is currently resid

ing on the moon and lives solely with his pet dalmation named Bugsy Malone the Third, who has starred in the Golden Cock winning blue film; Revenge of the Sausage Beast. He also co-founed the `players club' with Haider Ali in 1977.



Pete TriggsEdit

Has gone nuts.

Korok ChatterjeeEdit

Korok Chatterjee (a.k.a. Mustachio Grimsby McGoulash) founded MGM studios which is currently going bust due to legal action by Alex Soteriades.

Esther Caszzzzzzz.Edit

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Esther Caszo is pleased with her present; 100grams of pure Columbian cocaine

Esther Caszo, often mistaken for a Tazmanian Devil and well known for her catchphrases; "What happened? NOOOO!, Nottttt fanny, STOP IT!!! STOP TOUCHING ME, BEHAVE, YOU ASS , NYEEEYAH!!!..." and other non-intelligable rants that has peaked at 250 decibels breaking the record of the Krakatoa volcanic eruptions of 1894. She is currently responsible for the icelandic volcano yrgfhdgetfgdjdvol eruption of 2010. In fact she IS the icelandic volcano yrgfhdgetfgdjdvol eruption of 2010. We are sorry to all the travellers who were disrupted by the consequences and we apologies for any inconvenience caused. Eye-witness accounts near the site of the eruption claim that it sounded of "Sooooweeee.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" before their ear drums started to bleed.

Resul KeechEdit

Resul Keech owns Turkey and often rents it to millions of Turks on a good day. On a bad day, they are evicted to Hawaii. Not many return.


Dymock Brett aka Dym DymEdit

For fuck's sake stop writing things about me. They are all lies I tell you. Oscar Wilde has described him as the greatest poet of our modern age, with such timeless tomes as:


- For Fuck's Sake (a self help book that has helped millions)

- WHAT? (a paper on maintaining concentration)

- REALLY (the best selling sequel to WHAT?)

- That's RIDICULOUS Rajinder (or How to maintain an air of confidence in the corporate world)

- Is it me or is it dark in here? (a self reflective treatise)

- LA DE DA (the comprehensive manual for family Christmas games and celebrations)


Sam Day aka Sam DamEdit

Sam Day has left central film school to embark on a romantic adventure with Norman through the Amazon jungle whilst documenting their monkey business. He is often mistaken for Jason (focus puller) and hopes to one day look as beautiful as him. He always carries a picture of him in his marsupial pouch (a genetic defect common to all Days) to remind him of the love of his loins and his hope to one day reach the status of being jewish. Dan, his evil twin AKA Dan Day the scriptwriter has since gone missing. If anyone has any details of his whereabouts please contact Dymock Brett by pigeon carrier.


Ben Watts (a.k.a. The Rat Catcher/Ben Den)Edit

Ben Watts is a crack addict and pays for his habits by playing poker... all the time. He is a manic depressant who fiddles with his jeans in public sight and occasionally scratches deep into his arse crack, But always i REPEAT, always washes his hands after so please do not hesitate to approach him calling him the Poker. He was accused for baby snatching, however, the charges were dropped due to the snatched children actually being midget old people.

Sophie ShawEdit

Sophie Shaw is the primary lobbyist for a proposed government ordinance involving the mandatory serving of Sub Way sandwiches at every BT phone box.

Bex JonesEdit

Bex Jones is currently serving life in prison for attempting a coup d'état of the British Government following a thorough brain washing received earlier in her life in the rebel state of New Zealand.

Haider AliEdit

WHERE THE FUCK IS HAIDER?

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